It was so satisfying, though difficult, to eat the food on my plan yesterday. When I got up this morning, I vowed to do it again.
However, I missed lunch and, if you don’t know, $4.50 burrito bowls happen on Thursdays. And someone in my office was eating one with guacamole.
I was sure I would get the burrito bowl. I had thoughts of, “It’s not that bad, plus I ate great yesterday. Today has some wiggle room.
But first, I remembered I’d have to admit doing so in my blog and ruin my one and only day of progress in a row. That’s EXACTLY why I was frustrated with my weight loss. I was a walking meme of: ate one healthy meal, still overweight, is pissed off about it.
Secondly, I started noticing how I felt about the skipped lunch. I felt panicky, like all hell was just going to break loose. Like my blood sugar was going to drop and I was going to feel like I would pass out. Like I would absolutely lose control and skip the burrito bowl and go straight for Burger King. Granted, one reason I want to adopt healthy eating habits is that my blood sugar is uneven. And, yes, sometimes I’ve claimed that I’ve lost control and eaten something that will not improve my fitness level.
But I realized that being hungry did not warrant this level of a reaction. So I took a deep breath and decided I was going to be ok. Hunger is not an emergency. And I decided to pretend I was fasting.
It turns out I was fine. I ate my boring meal, and I was fine. This means that I have completed TWO DAYS IN A ROW OF PERFECT NUTRITION! This is habit forming work in progress!
I almost always feel tone-deaf while posting about what I ate and my fitness level when much more urgent crises are happening in our country.
So I want to acknowledge that there were about three weeks recently that I could not cope with what is happening. I couldn’t get off Facebook, I couldn’t stop checking for new developments, and I couldn’t take good care of myself. Focusing on my health and fitness is a form of self-care that is a radical act. In fact, I think it makes me better able to cope.
I may repeat these sentiments as often as needed.